WALKING WITH JESUS MINISTRIES
'GROWING BELIEVERS INTO DISCIPLES, UNITED
IN CHRIST, REFLECTING JESUS TO THE WORLD'
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Church-Lite
Does it seem to you that churches these days just expect too much from their people? Well before you remember that Jesus told us to pick up our cross and follow Him daily, read the following announcement, then repent!
Has the heaviness of you old fashioned church got you weighted down? Try us! We are the New and Improved Lite Church of the Valley. Studies have shown we have 24% fewer commitments than other churches. We guarantee to trim off guilt, because we are Low-Cal... low Calvin, that is. We are the home of the 7.5% tithe. We promise 35 minute worship services, with 7 minute sermons. Next Sunday's exciting text is the story of the Feeding of the 500.
We have only 6 Commandments-- Your choice!! We use just 3 gospels in our contemporary New Testament *Good Sound Bites for Modern Human Beings*. We take the offering every other week, all major credit cards accepted, of course. We are looking forward with great anticipation to our 800 year Millennium.
Yes, the New and Improved Lite Church of the Valley could be just what you are looking for. We are everything you want in a church... and less!! |
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General
Enquiries and Comments: laugh@wwj.org.nz
Check
out the WWJ website for….
More
Jokes: www.wwj.org.nz/laugh.php
Links to other sites of interest: http://www.wwj.org.nz/links.php
Till Death do us Part!: http://www.wwj.org.nz/tddup.php
Pets Rule!: http://www.wwj.org.nz/pets.php
The World's Greatest Groans: http://www.wwj.org.nz/groans.php
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| © Walking
With Jesus Ministries Charitable Trust: As
this material is freely received, use is freely given, indeed encouraged,
for non-commercial purposes. Acknowledgement of the source is always appreciated. |
