A local preacher gave an especially long-winded sermon at a small country church. As he was winding down the sermon, he apologized saying that he had forgotten to wear his watch that day.

At the end of the service as the minister was being greeted by members of the congregation down front, a parishioner smiled and gently reminded the pastor that all he had to do was turn around. 

When the minister looked behind the pulpit, he realized there was a rather large calendar on the wall in back of him.