PASTOR... 
Is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; 
Is more powerful than a locomotive; 
Is faster than a speeding bullet; 
Walks on water; 
Gives policies to God. 

ASSOCIATE PASTOR... 
Is able to leap short buildings in a single bound; 
Is as powerful as a switch engine; 
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet; 
Walks on water if the sea is calm; 
Talks with God. 

EDUCATIONAL DIRECTOR...
Leaps short buildings with a running start; 
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine; 
Is faster than a speeding BB; 
Walks on water if he knows where the stumps are; 
Talks with God if special request is approved. 

MUSIC DIRECTOR... 
Clears a Quonset hut; 
Loses race with a locomotive; 
Can fire a speeding bullet; 
Swims well; 
Is occasionally addressed by God. 

YOUTH DIRECTOR...
Runs into small buildings; 
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times; 
Used a squirt gun in college; 
Knows how to use the water fountain; 
Mumbles to himself. 

CHURCH SECRETARY...
Lifts buildings to walk under them; 
Kicks locomotives off the track; 
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth; 
Freezes water with a single glance; 
When God speaks, she says, "May I ask who's calling?".