10. For Sale: Used Tomb. Good location! Like new! No longer occupied!
9. For Sale: Temple Curtain. Subdivided by owner. (Mat. 27:51)
8. For Sale: Used Wrap Collection. Excellent condition. You can have it for a song!
7. For Sale: Large selection of sackcloth (mourning clothes)--men's and women's, various sizes and styles. No longer needed.
6. Looking For Work: Two former guards. Willing to lie for right price. No Cemeteries! (Mat 28:11-15)
5. Companions Wanted: Long-term relationships desired. I am dying to meet you!--JC
4. Lost Item: One body lost. Big Reward for its return!--the Sanhedrin.
3. Personal to Mr. S: nah-nah, nah-nah, nah, nah--you lose!
2. Personal to JC: Well-done, Son! You da man!--Dad
And the number one classified to appear in the Jerusalem Times that First Easter is:
1. For sale: One Cross. Well used! Priceless! Best offer!