 AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. 
 BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the sermon. 2.Church air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending church. 
 CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync. 
 HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octave higher than that of the congregation's range. 
 RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at church, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. 
 JONAH: The original "Jaws" story. 
 JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own. 
 MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. 2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough. 
 PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Churches. 
 RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of church - led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. 
 RELICS: People who have been going to church for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand without prompting. 
 TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman. 
 USHERS: The only people who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.