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218. Top 10 Reasons for Not Reading the Scripture

In one church, members were asked to read Joshua Chapter 1 in preparation for the following Sunday's sermon. A few members failed to read - here are their top ten excuses:

10. I was absent last week, and thought that the bulletin I received in the mail was for spending quality time making paper airplanes with my grandson. 
9. I tried, but finally gave up trying to find the book of Joshua in my handy pocket New Testament. 
8. I procrastinated until Saturday night, but the excitement of my wife's favorite WWF show was too distracting. 
7. My dog ate my Great Chapters assignment sheet. 
6. Spiritual giants like me read the Bible as guided from above, not as directed by mere man. 
5. My Bible could not be found - prior to Y2k I had buried it in a metal box in the woods so I could access it when Anti-Christ takes over the world. 
4. When the Pastor said "Joshua one", I thought he was telling us that "Joshua won" at the Israeli marathon race last week. 
3. I'm a visual person so I looked at the Bible comic book pictures. 
2. I'm an auditory person so I listened to the song, "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho".

And the number one top excuse for not reading the assigned Bible chapter: 

1. I started to read the chapter, but then came under persecution when an officer pulled me over and forbade me to read while driving on I - 80.

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