7 Bull Street, Ahuriri, Napier, New Zealand


375. The Microschlock Bible

(A parody. Adapted by Bellgamin)
Customer: Oh salesclerk, could you help me please?

Clerk: Hi, my name is Velma and I'll be your Support. What's your problem?

Customer: The book of Psalms is missing from this Bible I bought here yesterday.

Clerk: Try looking again. Maybe Psalms will be there this time.

Customer: No, it's still missing.

Clerk: Maybe it's the way you're using the Bible. Try opening it from the back instead of the front.

Customer: Even when I open it from the back, Psalms is still missing.

Clerk: Maybe the Bible is incompatible with your eyeglasses. Did you wear READING glasses while you used this Bible?

Customer: I don't need glasses. My eyesight is perfect.

Clerk: Hmmm...if you say so. Well, it might be a configuration problem. How was the Bible set up?

Customer: They just handed it to me in a cardboard box. What has that got to do with the fact that Psalms is missing?

Clerk: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the book of Psalms was missing?

Customer: I took it out of the box, of course!

Clerk: Oh oh! That could be the cause of your problem. Anyway, that Bible is rather out-dated technology. Have you considered upgrading to our most recent version?

Customer: You folks have updated the Bible?

Clerk: Certainly. We just issued Bible-98, version 2.1. It comes with 100 free hours on the internet, plus one full year of Tech Support.

Customer: Okay, bring me Bible-98. I'm running late now.

Clerk: Here you are sir. Bible-98, the latest thing.

Clerk starts to leave.

Customer: (Examines Bible) Hey, wait a minute! What are all these extra pages glued in between the Bible pages? I didn't ask for those.

Clerk: No problem sir. They can be removed for a slight extra cost. Of course, doing so will void the warranty and your Bible might not function properly without them.

(And so it goes. Er..... did anybody say McWindoze?)

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